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underneath the stars
I'll self-reflect... in this small world of lastman-standing.BS.com

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DISCLAIMER: If you find anything offensive in or about this blog remember that this blog is solely for MY entertainment, not YOURS. What I write in this blog, you have a choice to read it. I can't hide things in small spoiler tags just for you. It's for my convenience. Whether this blog entertains you or not, i couldn't care less. Only one request: spammers GO AWAY and stop tagging nonsense or start flaming by means of the tagboard. This is my blog, not your altar. I don't need your reverence or worship, neither does this blog, I'm sure of it.

Read on.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
3:42 AM

well, let's say things are much MUCH more eventful when the holidays started.


joining the alumni band just for the concert, plans to go for he TJC tune-in, and a must to turn up for the MJC tune-in, wow. my life revolves around band again, and now it's just become more interesting, i have to say.


yes, talk about music, i found my Grade 8 piece of paper that the examiner wrote on. her (yes, it's a HER)handwriting is fairly readable, but the numbers are not to be missed out on.

this is still my greatest achievement to date:

yes, for those who cannot read, it's a Distinction, 133/150.
haha. it's just a random picture. and it'll be the last i'll post.
anw farewell pics are just a few; there simply was no time for more.
now for my reflections.
this holidays... changed me, quite a bit. altho the 'betrayal of trust' thing with my brother is settled, and we're good again, i've also become short-tempered, idle, and what have you not. hais.
they said that the O levels results will determine your future, it may even change your future. Damn, i've already changed after the exam itself.
i dunno what's going to happen to me.
anw, i'm going to change my email to twjbenjamin@hotmail.com
just re-add me.
~BenjaminTAN


Tuesday, November 25, 2008
5:47 AM

i didn't know where to put this thought, so here i am.

Never have i been like this before.
things will never be the same again.
god damn it, even the worst teachers i had never did this to me.
and i had to do it. that places me below those damned bitches.
and i did it to my brother.
that worsens the situation.
i mean, even if he doesn't find out about it, i still cannot live with it.
i was always on his side before.
now, i'm on my own. with a secret alliance with his nemesis.
i can't believe it.

i wonder how it feels like for someone to betray your trust.

~BenjaminTAN


Tuesday, November 18, 2008
5:10 AM

Freedom.
let's talk about that word for a while before moving on.

to me, the freedom after the o levels was good as a whole, inclusive of a 3-day stayover at my grandmother's place with my 3 other guy-cousins on my paternal side (i'm much closer to the ones on my father's side than the one on my mother's) and we leeched a hell lot of money just by eating 2 breakfasts and a lunch.

but i digress.

there are times when i just feel, cut off from my friends and the outside world. due to the fact that i banned myself from the computer for almost 3 weeks, i seem to have lost interest in spending my time with the computer, so i get on it less, use the xbox less, and, i dunno what i do more. Really.

so, as a whole, i like the freedom ater the o levels, but, just as nick said, i feel awkward without seeing a skyhigh pile of textbooks on my table, and i feel awkward without studying. not that i study much, it's just, the feeling that you're not going to study for a LONG time.

whatever.
so, the 3-day stayover was a total leech of my grandmother's money in exchange for her face and our accompanyment (whatever the hell it's spelled).
in total the 5 of us leeched at least 80 bucks. haha.

work.
it doesn't help that i didn't use the comp during the exam period, because almost everybody could've applied for the job during october. hais.
worst comes to worst, what the heck, i'll work at the airport. damn.

so, bye for now.

and, FYI, i'd be coming for band this saturday, then, fun at grandmother's house!


~BenjaminTAN


Thursday, November 13, 2008
6:49 PM

okay, the exams are over, and finally, just like anyone else, i can relax.

before i move on, i'd like to admit something: i used the computer a few days ago, when it was still in the examinations period. not for escapism purposes or to relax or anything, i used it to check my email. i had to, because my jie asked if her friend had emailed me anything about the mjc band practices. so i tried to boot my computer.

God damn, it was as if the computer was as old as me. and even so, i could respond MUCH faster than the stupid mouse, and keyboard. worse still, the web browser lagged. all in all, i guess it took about half an hour for the whole computer to 'warm up', before it could work like before.

and there was no mail from my sister's friend.
it turned out that there would be no band practices till they come back from the japan trip, which would be before the 13th of december. hais.


the examination period could be described as interesting. i can safely say that i can get a score of <15. the papers were fairly easy, and comparable to the prelims. altho, i also can say that i am damn lucky. i could remember what i studied the day before the geog elect paper, and because i couldn't do rivers, i had to do natural vegetation, which was studied the day before the paper. the social studies paper was another case of pure luck. since there was no time for other themes i just studied the principles of good governance, and it actually came out for the exam as a SEQ. with a bit of luck i can actually get a B4 for combined humanities, altho i would be happy with just a pass. that would be the greatest improvement since the starting of last year.

so, after the dratted exams, i went to try out the recreational activity that quite a few of my classmates liked to do: pool. it seemed, the more you play it, the more addictive it seems to get. time flew inside H.O.P. till marcus realised the fee was going to cost a bomb. the rates seemed exponential. so, for two tables, the total cost was around 18 dollars. altho the fee was split among the two of us, plus a bit from esmond and shaun, i had only like, 4 dollars left. hais.

well, prom yesterday night was fun as usual, but i still have one thought in my head. not going to say it here, since gabriel had a share of it, and he evaded it (as usual), but i don't care, we're still friends, and it was most probably an accident.


so, i guess i'd be blogging more actively, since i'm more 'free' now, so they say.

bye for now!


~BenjaminTAN


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