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underneath the stars
I'll self-reflect... in this small world of lastman-standing.BS.com

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DISCLAIMER: If you find anything offensive in or about this blog remember that this blog is solely for MY entertainment, not YOURS. What I write in this blog, you have a choice to read it. I can't hide things in small spoiler tags just for you. It's for my convenience. Whether this blog entertains you or not, i couldn't care less. Only one request: spammers GO AWAY and stop tagging nonsense or start flaming by means of the tagboard. This is my blog, not your altar. I don't need your reverence or worship, neither does this blog, I'm sure of it.

Read on.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
5:51 AM

today: band day. about 9 hours, the norm for weekend practices.
started by going to the field.
did formations to formations.
then mr. azlan asked me if i was going. i said i was not. nadia wasn't too. so michelle became H4, so there would be a balance. he also asked me if my steps were easy.

Please. my steps and ian's staps are like the boring-est of the whole band lah. i can count 3 formations that i don't even spin lah.
and there's only one 270 degree spin. lol.
my sec 2 one was much more fun. from DV to K1, i can vividly remember the steps:
(from stationary)S315 F2 MT2 S225 F4 S270 F4 S270 MT

and i feel that it's much more interesting.
my drills were not so good then, but hey, it's still one thing worth remembering.

as i'm blogging now, i can have someone overseas log on the comp and chat with me. lol. miss chatting. come back soon, with souvenirs!

so we went for lunch at 12 noon, at the haig road banquet. nothing much to talk about there, just that wen hui laughed a lot. it's as if kaini infected her.

...
then came the afternoon session.
drills, gimmicks, and more drills.
and mine was like such a... disaster.
speechless.
at a loss of words.
whatever.
so i finished mine, and then we had a lot more.
and we did sway!! and smoke! as per last comp.

so fun
so we added that to the comp show, and called it a day.
and mr. lawrence siao would be helping us.


damn. i got scratched twice! by instruments lah.
there's one on my thumb, another on my shin/below my knee

the thumb was caused by the french horn. i didn't even know how it got there.
knee? was caused by a very sharp edge of yug han's bells. very sharp as in it just did more of a brush on my leg and it can start bleeding.
both formed scabs liao.

and.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHIYI!
couldn't towpok/flagpole/bash you lah. didn't even get the chance to wish him.
...

and after band, i went to inspect the dmns.
quite good, considering this is their first few times doing macework.

i did a few like the side twirling, and just normal twirling to show them. T. Chow was teaching them. 4 of them.
bowen and some other guy didn't turn up. either glenn or zheng. i didn't notice.
and it's so fun/nice to twirl the mace again!

yeah.

if you all didn't know why i'm posting with more detail, it's because a person needs update from band.

~BenjaminTAN


Thursday, May 29, 2008
4:50 AM

today was another round of sleepiness, although not as bad as yesterday.

and i woke up on time, at 5.40! took the 6.10 2and the 6.30 33 to school. result: reached school slightly before 7.

went for breakfast with sean. and the teh ping wasn't as nice as people claim it to be. it makes my nose feel weird. Don't ask why my nose feels weird, i dunno too. and i don't care. i'm not going to buy a 70c teh that makes my nose feel weird next time, when i can buy a teh o that doesn't make any part of my body feel weird, and costs 20c cheaper than the former. Learn from mistakes. and things that makes your nose feel weird.

anyway,
geog elective was in the auditorium. learned an interesting topic. map-reading. not as if i plan to get lost anytime later in my life, less in a forest full of river features. yep. but i understood the thing pretty quick, and the lesson passed relatively quick.

Social studies, bedtime stories, with notes to be taken. i was quite energetic at the start of lesson, but once i reached the 2nd page, flip side of the notes, my hand started to quiver. my head felt heavy. i felt, how do i put it again, sleepy. now i know how mdm. rozy handles her 2 kids every bedtime, and how she can never run out of stories to tell. because when she hits her second statement, her kids would be knocked out by the potential sleepwaves of social studies.
not this time, however. for me, that is.
the rise and fall of venice was something worth hearing, and something not worth sleeping over. chin kiat was like 'wtf is their problems? are they jealous or what?'
to those who are in the lower secondary, you'll know, come 1-2 years time. it's worth your time, and i guess thinking about it is also worth staying alive and conscious over.

Physics.
last lesson of the day.
we did the theoretical part of practical household electricity.
was formula-overabundant. just by substituting equations into another equation.
nothing else.
and i was forbidden to go for band today.

'one weekday, and saturdays'

...
...
...
...
...

so i had a long phone call in the bag room, with my mother talking.

then i left.

and went back home.
and bathed.
and slacked.
and ate dinner.
and blogged


~BenjaminTAN


Wednesday, May 28, 2008
5:29 AM

this post is indirectly required from someone, since the last post seems "forced out of me".

and i don't feel like editing yesterday's post, because this is an elaboration, so here it is.

yesterday had band. and lessons. zzzzzzzzzzzz

and it was boring.
so i shall not elaborate much. i kinda forgot.
so, right after physics lesson, i went up to the 2nd floor boys' toilet to tuck in my shirt.
when i left, i heard the band whispering their timings.
and i was like 'wtf is this?!' not in front of them, though.
and it just got better and better.
their checking of dressings took so long. and in fallin, somemore.

so i shouted. and they seemed a bit shocked, wondering who broke the silence, till i walked to the bag room. hmm, kayrui, please wake up. there's no space in band for people whose minds are as vague as mine when i take the sec 1's. but i did take the sec 1's, and it wasn't as bad as i thought. will elaborate later.

so, i had no big clue why i went to the 3rd floor for. to see the band? to see how much they improved/deproved? i really had no idea. i went to the bag room, to see that it was locked. ee zeng and xingjie were like at the staircase. lol.

and i went down. pretty stupid, huh?

talked about the trip, and I SHALL NOT ELABORATE. First, i kinda forgot also. Second, even if i remember, i have no intention whatsoever to rant about it here, lest some alumnus sees my blog.

lunch.
i was the last one to order from the chicken rice stall. or shall i say, i was the one to kop the last portions of the meat, veggie and rice that the uncle and auntie had left.

enjoyed it, really. i did.

and went for band.
my tone sucks.
i can't even pitch the high concert Bb without my sound cracking. damn.

that was sectionals.

then there was combined in the hall. did the repetoire a few times over, then... i don't remember. lol.

took the sec 1's for a full hour.
chatted at breaks, took them for drills. there was a time when i went into complete silence while teaching the sec 1's how to spin. using the shoulders.

ouch.
...
and it was raining, so i kinda lost my voice. i hope it gets well anytime soon.

so, i went back to the hall at 5.30 to see all of them doing the cp 1 gimmick.

then there was a half-runthrough.

and so concluded the 1-6 band practice.
and i sent only one song to elise. damn funny, if you ask me. she thought i was busy, lol.

Today. Another 'fun' day.

of lessons. let me start by telling when i woke up.
according to my clock, 5.20.

according to my jie's clock, 7.30.
Now for my train of thoughts before i woke up.

~dreaming~ ~dreamin... [cut off]
"why am i still sleeping so soundly?"
"why haven't my clock rung yet?"
opened eyes.
"what time is it?"
looks at clock.
"why is it so bright, at 5.20?"
looks at jie's clock.

no prizes for guessing what happened next.
of course i rushed to school, damn! the bus took so bloody long to arrive. thank god i only missed ss. not that ss is boring, i missed the start of the last chapter, (damn!) but i was lucky to have missed only one lesson.

so i had my break.

and so continued other lessons.

chinese wasn't that dreadful.
ms. low made the lesson very light-hearted. till it rained. then she had to battle with the rain (in terms of sound, voice, whatever).

after lessons, i went straight to tm. one thing i had to say: i was wet.

even with my trusty umbrella.

but no matter.
had a student's fish fillet meal at macs, and there were no seats for me! so i had to stand and eat. made me look like a fool, fumbling with my wet umbrella, 2 plastic bags (i took away the meal) and my bag. had the fries first. then the burger. finished it in 2 bites, in a minute. then the drink.

like all others, i hate drinking. really large drinks. and they gave me like a medium sized cup (or large, i don't know and care, because the thing is huge) and i couldn't finish it. finished half, then threw the damn thing away. then went to the music studio.

dai over there for about half an hour, and msged at the same time. and i had lesson for an hour, and then dinner at home, and then bathing, and then doing this.


wow.

2 days in one.


~BenjaminTAN


Tuesday, May 27, 2008
6:19 AM

oh, well.
reached school at 7, i think
at 7.25 joel and sean went to eat with me. and drink.

lessons.

band. i shall not say what happened before lunch. i was so frustrated.
okay, band.
band for 5 hours.
sectionals at first.
combined in hall at 2.45
took sec 1's at 4.30-5.30
combined in hall till the end.

i don't feel like blogging now. i am just so forgetful. mayb when i remember, or when someone stimulates my brain cells i'd remember and blogpost again.
(this is such a small post, but no matter.)

for now, bye.


~BenjaminTAN


Monday, May 26, 2008
2:15 AM

this post is requested by somebody.

what a nice day today.

arrived at school at 6.30 am.
actually was planning to go to school on my own, so i woke up at 5.30 but it rained at 6, so my dad just woke up and fetched me to school. wow. a 45-minute difference. and i arrived at school, to see no one there.
only jolene was there, we said hi, then i went to some table at the cantten and started stoning and listening to music.
as time passed, i saw people arriving at school.
then, finally, kenneth.
he didn't even see me. just went to the classroon. opened the door.
HOW STUPID COULD I GET?!?!?!?!?
i didn't even know that my classroom door was unlocked.
so i entered.
and continued to listen to music on my phone (i still am impresed with the sound quality of my new phone, compared to the Motorola L6. actually the latter had it's conveniences, bcos i still dunno how to navigate well using this phone)
people arrived.
clement arrived. seems that he brought a bottle of chicken essence and a bottle of bird's nest. and he got another 'bracelet', i dunno what's it. it's the band i wear on my right wrist to dai ping an. apparently, clement went to the temple yesterday to pray and got another bracelet from the reverend. so i helped him tie a dead knot on the strings, and there you go! he now has two bracelets, one on each wrist. seems there's no such thing as overzealousness in Buddhism.

then i started messaging.

then i went to take away some iced tea from the canteen, and drank it in the classroom.

then we went to the upper level to wait for clearance to enter the corridor of the 2nd floor classroom blocks.

my exam was held in the 3e classroom, and chin kiat didn't arrive till a few minutes before 8. darrel had to call him on the phone. call failed.
i used his phone and it went through, but other than chin kiat's voice, i heard static and white noise. i wonder why. lol.

so we went in the classroom, and did our exam. i have to say, the male invigilator for my classroom looked a lot like gabriel from the side profile. just that he's a bit taller. the man, that is.

paper 1 was my record.
4 pages for the letterwriting, 3 pages for the next section.

paper 2 was, simply put, not as easy as i had expected.
i left blanks at the 'vocab' question at the second chinese comprehension.
gg.
i have a feeling the most i can get is a poor B3.


after that, i met up with my mum at the carpark, and we met ms. chen for the parent-teacher meeting. it was quite light-hearted, since i didn't even de zui ms. chen, just i didn't hand in a little bit of homework to her during the second term.
results: combined, that is

english: 55.8 C5
chinese: 60.5 B4
add. maths: 68.5 B3
maths: 69.8 B3 (okay, this is stupid. if only i had gotten just a mark higher. DAMN!!!)
chemistry: 70 A2 (i really dunno what happened to my chemistry. i really dunno)
physics: 66.8 B3
Combined humanities: I'll let you guess. if you give up, there's 2 ways there you can go about calculating it. 33.0 F9

Percentage: 60.6 (deproved lots. really must work harder.)
class position: 17/41
level ranking: 159/344

L1R4: 16
L1R5: 25. [sarcastic voice]I wonder why???[/sacarstic voice]

WOOTS! my highest these 4 years. at last.
LOLOLOLOLOL


so ends my post.
i was chatting on msn just now and playing n3 on the 360 at the same time.
proves that i cannot multitask (klarann got killed in the process of me attempting to pause the game)
and to end it off, this post is requested from somebody.
I'll let you guys guess.




~BenjaminTAN


Sunday, May 25, 2008
3:25 AM

today: disposal of a television older than my brother.
it's about 15 years by now. spoilt only once: just before we threw it away.
my dad, leinad and i went to bring it from the sidewalk of our garden to the car's boot.
car was just parked next to the house, yet it took us 5 minutes to get it there.

so we just drove to some random place in tampines ave 7, i think. at 3.30 pm.
saw a rubbish dump there, filled with running water, drop by drop. and it stank, according to my bro (if you all didn't know, i cannot breathe through my nose due to a deviated septum. My right nostril is forever clear except when i'm ill, but it just cannot take in the volume of air needed for my respiration) and we just shifted the television there. well, who asked me to live in such a secluded place? ~sighs~

happy memories still remained there.
it stayed with us, from bukit batok, to tampines, and finally to changi, where its life peacefully ended. and FYI, i stayed in tampines for 7 years, and changi since the beginning of sec 1 (actually, dec. 30th) so it must've had more memories in tampines than anywhere else. and it rested there.
my current HSH record was recorded on a videocamera (up till now i still don't have a capture card) on that very television. all other vidcam records made by the Tan Bros were played on that television.

and i got a scratch there, when shifting it a step up. grazed my ankle. doesn't hurt now. lol.

after that, went to shell petrol station to pump petrol, and but ice-cream!! again! third day in a row!! someone says she's jealous. i also had pizza for dinner. the good life, when my parents are not home.

yes, they went to eat dinner again.

tomorrow, 3 things are going to happen. two in school, one at home. those who read my blog frequently should know. i'm going to keep it secret.


~BenjaminTAN


Saturday, May 24, 2008
5:06 AM

the previous post was talking about more of yesterday than today. so.

today woke up at 6.45, thanks to leinad's alarm.
couldn't go back to sleep, so go on the comp for 5 minutes, bloghop, then ate breakfast.

after breakfast, i added new songs to my phone. 8 gigs of my life, man!!
today was pretty uneventful. found out from elise that the banders played captain's ball. wow. to 'relieve stress'. what about those who takes MT??
went to my grandma's house. and ate. and socialised. and played xbox (i had no big interest for Halo 2 today, dunno why) and smsed. and the ice-cream was soft. as in melted. my younger cousin could pull out the ice-cream stick and have the ice-cream still in the wrapper. then i smsed and listened to songs on the way home.

and Shawn Jie's wedding is so near!! 14 june. another saturday. another miss from band. DAMN!!! i'm starting to miss it. can't wait for 'o's to be over, so i can collect my report book.
and for tuesday to come. so i can go bandddddddddddd


~BenjaminTAN


Friday, May 23, 2008
8:11 PM

I created my new record yesterday.
from 9.40am to 9.40 pm i chatted w someone via msn, sms, and only stopped during baths and meals. 12 hours straight. stopped chatting when my movie started at around 9.45pm, and it's my first time i chatted with someone for that long. my previous longest was like 3 hours. On msn only. we were still smsing in the theatre. LOL
yep, if you've seen her blog you'll know.

elise.

lol lah.
we were like chatting for the whole day. and there were almost no pauses or moments of silence in between, except for her and my meals, and my bath.



my dinner took half an hour to arrive. in swensens. and the portion of pasta was so friggin small. and my family had an Earthquake. by then we all jiak jin ba liao, so we finished the earthquake after like 15 minutes, and my family is consisting of 6 members, including me.

i've got a new phone. Nokia N81 8GB. and i'm filling it full of songs and pictures. actually not as much pictures as songs. i've already got 101 songs in 10 minutes.
don't worry, my number hasn't changed, it still has the cross-pattern in the first 7 numbers in the phone number, those who know, you should know why it's so easy to remember my no.

lol

so that pretty much sums up what i had yesterday.

it may not be interesing, but you could say it was one of my most enjoyed days.


~BenjaminTAN


Thursday, May 22, 2008
3:00 AM

today was bazzar day, too bad i joined the crowd for 1.5 hours...

timetable 22/05/08:
0740-0815: play soccer with classmates! took the whole basketball court.
0815-0920: chinese. Boring.
0920-1050: Bazzar. will elaborate.
1050-1145: Chinese.
1145-1315: Play voleyball, soccer, basketball, whatever. in my 4 years in TK, i really had fun.
1315-1410: On the bus to tampines mall's macs. Will elaborate.
1410-1445: ate at macs. Will elaborate.
1445-1448: walked to leinad's sch, PRSS
1448-1500: waited in playground opposite PRSS
1500-1507: Travel back home, by mum's car =)

so that pretty sums up my day out of home.

Bazzar.
Not as interesting as previous years, but was still... nice.
first stop: YingZheng walking about the canteen with a poster and a box on him. Bought a $1.50 fried rice to please him. I mean, can you blame him? it's all for charity, i think. but recalling Ms. Wong's statement last bazzar, "after the nkf incident, how can we trust any other charitable organisations? Might as well keep the money for our own needs. Give them the leftovers!" to my class after the bazzar, when we were packing up.
second stop: 2F stall, when i didn't even see it! Wen Hui and Khaiqi was trying to advertise the products their stall offered, but i was still eating the rice. i finally bought a tart from them (actually paid them the money, took the tart from the plate and straight dunked it into my mouth full of rice) for fifty cents.
third stop: Hanafia's class. bowling. with waterbottles. in the hall. i have to admit the game itself was pretty interesting. i was given 2 bottles. and was supposed to knock down all 10 bottles in 2 shots. i got 6 down with one, 6 down with 2, with no replacements. kinda stupid right? the ones on the right were the ones that stayed. still, i got a lollipop and a M&Ms. quite worth it, but i thought the class incurred huge losses. i paid only a dollar for the bowling thing.
i didn't try out the xbox 360 game, however. if they got some FPS like GOW, H1, H2 or H3 i wouldn't mind spending my allowance on the game. the thing is i don't like car racing games, so i don't like Carbon or whatever the hell it's called. and it's the only game available. Ms. Chen tried out the game and crashed. got 8th. i thought that was good, till i found out from zeng woon that there are only 8 cars in the game. She got owned....
fourth stop: bazzar gig, at audi.
people pay 2 dollars to enter the audi by the 2nd level door. me and chin kiat entered the 3rd level doors, FOC. and we stayed there for only 5 minutes to see some sucky malay band perform. I just don't have the ear for almost all rock music, or other 21st century music, for that matter.


Bus to tampines mall: my mum was about to go to leinad's sch for some parent-teacher meeting. so i followed them there. in a bus. stopped at tampines mall macdonalds. found elise and kaini there eating, so joined them there for about half an hour, eating a Large Fries. and they haven't even finished eating their fillet. lol. i don't think my eating is weird, neither do i eat like L.

so i walked to PRSS, which is so near tampines mall (now i know why leinad always goes to interchange b4 sch) and waited. and waited. why? leinad couldn't leave the classroom. and there was a security guard at the main gate of the school.
so i waited at the playground. the upper part was infested with ants and flies, so i went below the playground. I was bored, to tell the truth. the only thing i did there was to sms, listen to some Halo 2 OST and amuse myself by playing with some gears. to think i was amused to see all gears moving with a slight counterclockwise force applied to the only gear that i could touch.

so ends my very interesting day out of home.


~BenjaminTAN


Wednesday, May 21, 2008
4:47 AM

Today was an interesting day.

English in the afternoon (Section II, Paper 1 level test) was shifted to curriculum time. Because of CHINESE. zzzzzzz
test was easy. I hope i amplified enough.

Recess was plain and boring, as all wednesdays recess do now, and i tried to play piano in the hall. tone sucked =( but was way better than the one in the canteen. Must have been made in China. The one in the cantten, i mean.

Council Investiture.
Songs.
Boring.
I may as well have been in the auditorium, listening to the DSA talk.

Chinese 'Supplementary'.
marcus was busy talking to his friends. mdm. fong threw his bag down the stairs in the audi to make him go down. He expressed his contempt for fong through his liberal use of hokkien (i understood) then i think he went out, then shouted "mdm fong hen huai!"

everybody in the audi was laughing. i think she paiseh. she went back to her laptop and stared into the screen.
WAH! the kranji paper was so damn difficult lah. There was also 'own words' question. How the hell was i supposed to answer those questions? in chinese? i might as well take hindi with Yash. No big difference. Still a zero. the paper had more or less inference questions, and the second compre used stylistic writing. to the extent that i found LOADS of sentence fragments. Just like this. And this. And this.
so the paper was screwed. anw it's only a test so i don't care. as long as the 'o' level paper is easier than that, i'd be safe.


Piano Lesson.
late as usual. Played ravel sonatine. First movement was nice. second was okay. third movement was very like my previous DipAB exam's modern piece, bartok's something dances. (Someting as in i forgot the name, i think it's hungarian) I didn't like it at all. maybe practice will prove me wrong. i hope.


EH! my e math combined marks is 69.8. and it's B3. what the heck?!
and i got 17th in class. a fine effort, but i'll have to take it from there and move nowhere but up.


~BenjaminTAN


Tuesday, May 20, 2008
1:27 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL!

my mum's birthday is 6 days after.
my mei's birthday was 6 days earlier.
my MT mid yesr 'O's will arrive in 6 days, the twenty-6 of May.
i will turn 6-teen in october twenty-6.

So many '6's...

so another happy birthday to daniel.

i was smsing daniel during class. Ms chen's class, to be exact. I don't care about the teacher. She may be good, but there's a thing i don't like about her. i shall not say it here, and shall not delve too deep into the matter. She's, non-existent in my blog.

anyway, i did ask her for permission to go to the 'toilet' and smsed him at the stairs, like 4 metres from my classroom.

Recess, i had 2 new messages. Not from daniel, but my mum and dad (overseas in Bangkok, as usual) to wish him happy birthday if i had not done so already. Seems that they were late 30 minutes, huh? proves my memory's not as bad as it should be.

I HATE REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS!
not because the date's difficult to remember, but i always forget on the day itself. that's why i smsed daniel during the lesson 30 minutes before recess.


Those who are now being released from chinese, tell me what happened. It's 4.30 sharp now as i'm typing this. With all due respect (to those who like her as a chinese teacher) I think that mdm. Fong sucks. Sure, her teaching may be okay (i think i got a B3 in sec 2), but her attitude is those that will add fire to my ever-increasing ire. (my ire is aimed directly at her, ready to explode anytime, like someone pressing the barrel of a rocket launcher at someone else's temple A bit exaggerated, i hope you get the analogy). Ask my mum if you want proof. And, Ms low didn't come to school (MC), that's why i'm blogging at this precise moment. If i missed lessons in the afternoon, i apologise.

(click and drag down the blackened portion to see hidden message.
Alternative: double-click the blackened portions.
Alternative 2, my favourite so far: triple-click anywhere in the post.)

Today is also Adri's birthday. we wanted to throw him over to TKG and from there he make a mad dash back to TK, but the fence was topped with barbed wire and we decided it too dangerous an act to be carried out, so we dumped him into some power generator's enclosure. I dunno the exact words, just the green gate to the left of my class's staircase,hidden behind another 'house' when you're facing my class. that's where we threw him in.

wow. 1 person online as of now. Daniel.

Those who know me well enough, I love bathing in hot water, but i hate drinking warm or hot stuff. I love drinking icy-cold drinks, but i hate bathing in a shower of water that threatens to freeze any time i turn on the shower. Well, the weather was unbearable. I had to bathe in cold water. Walking to school was okay, from the end of Haig Road (only taking bus 2) in the morn, but i say again, the weather was unbearable. The 3rd and last floor of my house (where i'm currently typing this message now) is scorching. even with the curtains drawn, and the blinds pulled down. My computer's about to overheat because of the damn global warming. Due to globalisation. Okay, i'm not one to talk about globalisation, having received 34/100 for CH, but i shall say this.

"Please, can someone invent something that takes a portion of the heat in Singapore to the outer space? It's like my body temperature here!"

so, rant over.

I WANT BAND, I DON'T MIND IT INTERFERING WITH MY CHINESE REVISION. how the hell do you STUDY chinese anyway? I've an Uncle (american) who got a doctorate in English. WOW. what'd he do, study each letter of the alphabet? He teaches Teachers. He lectures Lecturers. That'd be nice. having some contribution in the education of a country.


OKAY, gotta go. gotta do housework, gotta do homework, gotta do some light reading to while away my time, gotta attempt to study chinese, gotta find more stuff to bitch about in the next post.

Gotta Go.


Bye.


~BenjaminTAN


Monday, May 19, 2008
3:28 AM

Hmm. How to start?

okay. Vesak Day.
My sister's (mei) chinese birthday.
we went out in the morning to pray at some temple in Kembangan. super hot sia. like 30 seconds of walk can get someone sweating really hard.
then went to eat at the bedok interchange market. ate mutton soup, with my jie. and the sugar cane juice was nothing but syrup. not from the plant. bland, diluted and nothing near the sweet cold drink that i remembered drinking last time. oh well.

afternoon.
the book that i like, the Diablo:Legacy of Blood. loads and loads of words that someone like me would not understand, not before checking the dictionary.

examples are ire, coutenance, vehemence, scant and a lot others. I particularly like the sentence "he spat out the food, at the same time a monstrous expression crossing his rotten countenance."

and now: blogging.
i plan to play at night, ~sighs


~BenjaminTAN


Sunday, May 18, 2008
5:38 AM

now i'm free.
my parents and grandmother went out for some wedding dinner.
good for them, i'd say. they're happy, so am I!
partying now. all by myself. maybe you could say partying with my brother, but no matter. i'm on my own, with only 3 people in my house. Jie's on the comp, all on her own, doing what, i don't care. Daniel's forging a map in Foundry, and my younger sis's amusing herself.

we're all doing fine and happy, so don't worry, mum and dad.

so. morning was tuition as usual. she looked at the paper. "you can do the sums, Ben, it's all because of your carelessness."
ouch.
i told her my calculator went dead. "did i tell you some people bring 2 calculators to the exam, just in case?"
ouch.
i told her i bought my calculator in March and i could've bet she went 'ouch'.

oh, dear...

afternoon was nothing. housework, light reading, whatever. so i can get on the comp and 360 now.


Okay then, byeeeeee


~BenjaminTAN


Friday, May 16, 2008
4:39 AM

NAPFA: I remembered all my scores for the test, including my 5 stations (which I did today).

Sit-up: 45 (A)
Standing Broad Jump: 240 (A)
Sit-and-Reach: 49 (A)
Shuttle Run: 8.84 (Sub-9!) (A)
Pull-ups: 8 (A)

2.4KM run: 11.23 (B)

so, results give me a 29/30. Gold. Nice.

and those who are wondering why i didn't re-take my 2.4 so as to get a perfect score, i was really tired that day.
and irritated.
i was like 'screw the 2.4. i can still get A for the rest anyway'.

Thus!

Damn.
Here you go. Although i'm not good in studies, my fitness is still up-to-standard.


and i'm wondering why andy still calls me 'commando' bcos i got 29/30. and the 'first to die in war', if you know what he and i mean
ah. please. there are at least a hundred people in S'pore who get the perfect score, and hundreds more who get my score. it's not that difficult.


~BenjaminTAN

Nice! it's 7.47pm now! my Cortana timing, currently, although not submitted.


Thursday, May 15, 2008
5:55 AM

Happy belated 5th birthday to Amanda!
14: amanda's birthday
20: Daniel's birthday
26: Mum's birthday

All in may!

6 days apart!
kinda funny huh?


yesterday my dad brought 3 of them out for dinner, while i was alone at home. Jie returned home like 2 hours later. Not exactly alone, however. My grandma was at home. i ate dinner w her. shui jiao (water dunplings, i think) FTW! So does vinegar and ginger!

marathoned halo 3 for 2 hours or so.
finished Crow's nest on legendary, SP in 38 minutes.
finished Storm on legendary, SP in 57 minutes.

then i ... dunno. kinda vague. I am tired now..... zzzzzzzz



today.
I improved in CH! 10 marks! from 24 to 34.
still a 9, however.

gotta chiong for MY 'O's MT! although i don't use it for my L1R5.
I don't care.


~BenjaminTAN


Monday, May 12, 2008
3:52 AM

good news!

my mum talked to me yesterday.
I can go for practices till my parents get everything sorted out. i hope that happens just before stepdown!

ROADRUN FTW!!!!
Fun all the way, i tell you.
now my group that made the teachers wait so long has to be punished.
next week.
actually, not punish, just duty, for want of a better word. It's kinda the same. lol

i dare not talk about my results here, lest some people start flaming, but what the hell. I got emath p2, amath p2, and chem. I think they all sucked.




bye for now, there's no reason why I shouldn't blog tonight...

~BenjaminTAN


Sunday, May 11, 2008
4:17 AM

i figured: To heat up a thing, it must first be of a lower temperature.
i also figured: taking out a glass cup from a freezer and pouring boiling water into it makes the glass break. Work out the physics yourselves, those above P6.


How should i begin this?
Sorry, all TK Band members, and whoever this might concern.

Though every apology has its each and very own reason, I shall put across the point indirectly, for the sake of the TK Band, and by doing this you will have a lesser chance of feeling how i feel before, during and after this post, but i hope you all understand, till there is such a time where things turn out for the better.

I shall start right after the meeting with mdm. nora and mr. lee with the Sec 4's, on friday.



I told my mother about it. although she didn't give an answer, she was grumbling about it. During dinner time that day, my mother told my father about it. He flamed, and gave me an answer that froze me up. Not anything to do with the TK Band, however. I felt his furiosity at the time, but somehow the anger, the fire in him seemed to turn me into the cold, hard stone that i had only experienced before, during and after the Chinese New Year in 2007. And I have to say, the CNY thing still gets me at times. For those who want to know about it, i shall say that it feels like you have lost everything that mattered in your life. i shall say that it drains you of all good feelings, everything, even your human-time reaction.

I shall say that it makes you lose the will to live.

It was, how should i put it, freezing. Stony, frigid, and frozen, for want of better words. Why? If his plan succeeded, how was I supposed to live? How was i supposed to answer to over 150 people?

How was I supposed to actually, LIVE?

Till now, only two know the story. First of all, me. the second, i have to say, those who chatted with me on msn, talked in real life in this supposedly-real world, still do not know anything about the other half of his plan which does not involve the TK Band. Not even those like my section, the majors, my friends like alan, saeful, adli, elise, kn, whatever. They do not know the other half.

Bong knows. Only the first part of his plan which does not involve the TK Band.

So that froze me up.



Second half of the story: starts after the TJC Band concert. I had a really good time at the VCH, laughing my heart out when it was the J1's drama item. Somehow the memory of the previous day got into my head, explaining the split-personality during the concert. Sorry, horns.

When my father fetched me from the VCH, he brought up the topic. And another thing. the only person who chatted with me this afternoon knows this, so keep silent. I guess she knows, because first: she tagged even before I posted this. Second, everyone else on MSN was busy or offline. So I poured out my dad's second plan to her. so you should know who. She should know who.



He wants me to skip band practices.



Like an exponential curve, the heat only came to me today, as soon as i woke up. And from there it started building.



I know exactly my father's intentions. I know all he does is for my own good. I know he loves me as much as I love band, many times over. But it just cannot relieve the pain in my heart. I said earlier that "taking out a glass cup from a freezer and pouring boiling water into it makes the glass break", where I am that glass cup, as 'solid' as i may be.

I know that my results are not that fantastic. I know I'm not half as perfect as my dad is. And for one thing i know I should not have even joined the TK Band, to save from me from all that pain. I just wish that I have now the chance to re-live my past 15 years and 7 months, so I can work out a better route for my future. As quoted from a comic i read a year ago, "My mother used to tell me that we reap what we sow."

"I should have paid more attention to her."

There's no way I can re-live my whole life, that is for sure. So I live on. I accept the fact that my father wants me to study. I want to make my father proud; to do well in my studies, and excel where he couldn't. And the thing on my mind, right smack in the centre: I want to SHAME mdm. Fong, for all that she's said to my mother many times over, with variation, "the boy is hopeless".

that being said, I still owe the band a huge apology. Anything that happens to the band, I really am sorry.


I am sorry.









~BenjaminTAN


Friday, May 9, 2008
4:32 AM

Changed blogskin!


may be black, but it's with a touch of creativity!
enjoy.


~BenjaminTAN


2:40 AM

FINALLY! exams are over.

at around 12.45 the sec 4's met mdm nora and mr. lee in the studio. good news! 2008 is not over, neither will the sec 4's stand down anytime soon. not going to spoil the secret, band members will find out tomorrow.

Mock test was a killer. I had people asking me how was the paper 1.
"I didn't have my dictionary. Does that answer your question?"
Then again, i realised how much i needed the dictionary when i didn't have it. Don't know what's wrong with me nowadays, but i will try to solve it sooon.

As i'm blogging, there are only 7 people online, out of the 77 people i have added on my MSN. I guess the reason is because... they're partying?

And my hair. Haven't cut it for ages, maybe before the MT MY O' Levels. I want to see how long it can grow before my mother starts screaming at my hair, although i'm the one at fault :)


Bye.


~BenjaminTAN


Thursday, May 8, 2008
1:16 AM

WHY? is there a mock test on marking day? it's supposed to be another of my free days, yet they put a mock test on that day, when nobody else is at school!
(Don't ask me who 'they' are. How would I know?)

and i already knew it when the schedule was given out.

next rant: ROADRUN!

WHY must the teachers in charge go looking from class to class for people who can run? why must they pull off a ***. **** and get people to sign up? me, for instance. and monday is also supposed to be another senang day for me again! my days are filled up with things that i do not want to do! and i'm not going to talk about ***.**** again. don't remind me. initials are M.F. that's all for clues.

Third Rant: CALCULATOR!

my calculator was officially 'dead' during the start of today's E math Paper 1. Couldn't switch it on at all. had to do everything manually. it's a relief they gave out blank pieces of paper to do rough working. if not, i guess i'll have to... Don't know. amuse me.

anyway, with Singaporeans like me who are over-reliant on technology, just like me and that damn fx-82AU will find themselves in dipshit when it comes to something as trivial as 'mental sums' that the primary schools never fail to give everyweek or so, and i never fail to fail, if not just a lousy 5/10. but my point is, i did everything manually on that white sheet of paper. Long division, squaring of 178 for some problem sum involving the use of the Pythagoras' Theorem (and i still couldn't finish it, because now everybody knows the Pythagoras' Theorem involves squaring and SQUARE-ROOTING. How the hell am i supposed to square-root numbers 5-digits long? Trial-and Error? I don't think so), factorising of quadratic equations, whatever. But things like trigonometric ratios like sine, cosine and tangent, i have No Bloody Clue how to do that mentally. WOW.

and the worse thing is, IT came back from the dead to make fun of me during the last 10 minutes of the damn exam. I just hope nobody heard me cursing the calculator, I WAS JUST SO FRUSTRATED! and I finished my paper 15 minutes before my calculator decided to like, "Hi Ben! How's your exam? No worries while I was not around? Oh? Pyth. Theorem? Trigo Ratios? Oh, how sad. How may I be of service to you? Oh? switch myself on? so you can square-root? You couldn't do it yourself? Proves to everybody how much you need me. JACKASS." so it was 15 minutes WASTED! what did I do? actually, i don't know. sit there, look dumb? ask the invigilators whether they have extra calculators to spare, to pull me out from that shit-pit that the fx-82AU oh-so-silently just got me in? Of course not. i checked my work with that piece of paper, again and again. WOW.

So that's 5 marks wasted out of 80 due to questions that i didn't know how to do. And I didn't need the calculator to do them. So, problem lies with me, then.

Boy, oh boy, I really do hope i get a decent grade for the exam.



~BenjaminTAN


Tuesday, May 6, 2008
6:01 AM

I found a hilarious picture in Bungie.net, and it comes with a statement, which definitely matches the picture below. Well, quoted from Bungie, "All accidents. All mental." WARNING: those who don't play Halo 3 may find difficulty understanding this picture, but here we goooo:

"I've got your rockets right here."

Now that's just..... wrong?

Never mind.

Anyway, those from TK Band, look at this statement:

"Nice posts from a Tk Band Member. Deyi Band: We define TK Band's Misery. Owned!!!" Tagged by some anonymous character, representing Deyi Band, I guess, for now.

Please leave a tag after you see this statement. Just refrain from vulgar language. Don't dirty this site. My point of view is written on the tagboard. I didn't delete it because I wanted to show you all what the title means to the TK Band and what it means to the Deyi Band. And their responses to this. I really don't think we will forget the 12th of April, '08, will we? We don't need reminders, I hope.

Right. Today was really boring. Other than revision and practice of A maths, I was either reading a book long read before (Diablo: Legacy of Blood) or watching my Daniel play Maple for like the whole afternoon. I didn't even leave the damn house! So much for a 'day off'! ~sighs

Practiced Aufshwung and the Ravel Sonatine movt. 1. I'm still not sure which one to go with, but my Aufshwung is going really good, for at least the first half of the song, and the last phrase.

~BenjaminTAN



Sunday, May 4, 2008
11:22 PM

Physics.
Fairly easy, and i'm aiming for an 80 to bring up my CA1 score to an A1. Such a perfectionist.

Hmm. took bus 10, then alighted one stop after Crossfire (believe me, i've never been inside there, i don't play LAN. I find it boringg) and entered bus 2. Wow. Bus 2 was like crowded, and i had to knock on the front door before the driver turned to the busstop. 2 was on the right of 10, stuck, you see. and when i entered, the back door opened. Nobody alighted. Driver was scolding and talking really loudly to himself.

Next stop, few people alighted. One particular old man went to the front door of the bus after he alighted and started cursing and swearing at the bus driver in Hokkien, because the door was open. Sign language was also used, although not needed, as the driver got the idea. He started swearing too. Even as the door was closed, and the bus about 20m ahead of the old man, the driver continued to swear. Really loudly. People found it really hard to keep their laughter, me included. FYI, I was beside him at the time. Pretty odd.

Next stop, a horde of ITE students alighted. pressed the bell like 9 times, even as they were alighting. bus driver swore yet again. never ending, i would say. Finally got a seat at the lower deck. Aah. Relax a bit.

Turning into the Upper changi road north, first busstop there, another thing happened. Old lady didn't tap card out, knocked at back door, and entered, just to tap card. Bus driver tried to tell her through the front door after she alighted, but she couldn't hear him, i think. He started swearing again.

2 stops before mine, Ballota Park. A Caucasian tourist came down to the lower deck, with a local tour guide. Oh. i hope the tour guide lied to him, and told him that was Singapore's way of greeting. FYI, the swearing was in hokkien. Very common such as hmmm, everybody knows what it means.

~sigh

what's going to become of us?


I alighted the bus, and was the only one. I hope the driver didn't curse at me because i was the only one to alight. He kinda freaked me out, damn.


~BenjaminTAN


Friday, May 2, 2008
4:51 AM

E math.

Easy. piece of cake.
Come on, they say that the mid-year is going to be tough? it doesn't seem like it. are they giving away chances for those who want to DSA to other schools, to give them nice little single-digits to let others marvel at? I don't think so. Now, why would they do that? Hmm?

Chem Paper 1
got like 5-6 'C's in a row, all shaded in the OMR. Come on. Have some pride when you set the paper. this is "giving away chances for those who want to DSA to other schools, to give them nice little single-digits to let others marvel at" all over again. All 'C's? is that like HUGE breadcrumbs? it's all right. if i fail the paper 1 i would tell them that i didn't know they would be that ______ to give all 'C's for answers, and i filled in like over 30 of other letters. It's all right. 25%. it's nothing. (MY ASS)
but seriously speaking, i have no idea if my above hypothesis is correct. I'm waiting for the Science Department to prove me wrong, When they give back the papers.

~sighs~

Chem Paper 2

so 'completable'! finished it with like 15 spare minutes on my tired right hand. for it to relax? to tie up the Section B papers? Nah. i checked it through for about 3 minutes before resting on my left forearm. COmFoRTabLe.... almost slept.
No! one important phrase. 'per unit time'. i'm surprised how many marks the phrase can lose you. 3? 5? 10? out of 80? Ah. after filling up, in small nice little 'carrots', i finished the paper. Tied it up and handed it in. and i was nowhere brain-saturation point. I really wonder why.

Hmm...


kay, yes! alan was talking crap with mr. wee just before our Chem P2.
i took a small piece of seaweed from alan's japanese food. dunno what it is, bcos i never bought from there. so damn expensive.
Me: Okay, i'll pay you the 20 cents later.
Wee: Wow, that costs 20 cents?
Alan: (insert a variation of 'the jap stall food is like so ex')

talktalktalk...

Wee asked alan to finish up his food. I said that people always say '请慢用' when you eat. alan said that it was rude to ask people to eat quickly, with reference to my previous statement.
a load of crap.

As i'm blogging now, jie just called back. just finished. Still has to eat dinner. at 9.30! wow. MJ band on fridays end at arnd 9 i think. that's like the damn opposite of TK.


Okay, I'm leaving...

~BenjaminTAN


Thursday, May 1, 2008
1:40 AM

BackTRACK.....


Tuesday.
3 papers, forgot 2 of them. Not bothered to check.
SS paper was okay. For once! And the one of the essay questions was the same as my recent test... so i plain copied and pasted from my memory. SBQ sucked. For once, too! Brain Saturation occured after i did only 2 SBQ part questions (if you didn't know, i did my essay first (for once again...), that's why). couldn't think. Okay. I don't care if my marks turn out to be sucky, because FOR ONCE I studied!!!!!! Without knnowing it! FOR ONCE again!
Before SS alan, ian and I had a go at somebody's flute (will not reveal, lest itruins somebody's friendshi......... nothin'). It was easy again. Not my first, though, my first time was at my Uncle Lewis's house. Okay, he's not exactly my uncle, since he's married to my cousin, but enough of that. Yeah. the first time i saw him play. I thought he was GOOD. enough of that.
yeah. i also tried out my previous mace in the room. The crown was loose, the screw was screwed. so. damn. but i had a good time.

Wednesday.
Geog elect. Dad came back from his like 2 weeks in the US working. Slept like a pig from 3 to 5, so i've been told. 3 as in the afternoon and 5 as in the dawn. wow. now he's still sleeping. Jet lag sucks. hope he doesn't lose anymore sleep during the night. Watched Iron Man. Damn, the show was good! *START SPOILER* Graphics was powerful. Soundtrack matched the atmosphere, although it had a bit too much of electric guitar, but hey, i liked it. how the plot and story builds up is nice, but his fight with the enemy is too fast. 15 minutes, i think. *END SPOILER*
geog elect exam was like WOW. mixed topics. Didn't bring my notes to school (damn!) but it still looks good, lying on my table. Thanks, Belinda!

Thursday.
Labour Day.
Day when i slept till 11.30.
Day when I had nothing better to do but comp the whole morning. And blog now.
Jie's friends came over in the afternoon to make jelly for their seniors. I had some. quite good. considering my jie maked it.

There's no way i can fastforward and get my mind out the emptiness and nothingness of today, so here ends my post.


WHY ISN'T MY CREATIVE ZEN WORKING?!?!?!?


nevermind.

bye.


~BenjaminTAN


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