now, as i'm blogging here, i think of this:
Even as the O's are arriving, just around the corner, i'm not at all affected by the close-ness of the exams itself.
here i am, relaxing, playing, having fun. the only serious time i have is in the morning and night, when i start to study. i'll elaborate later.
i actually remembered, during the stayover at my grandmother's house, that nick said that the O's were 50++ days away, and i said "oh, really? i didn't know that"
it was the same thing during the PSLE, just that i was much, MUCH worse during the pre-PSLE period. it came to me all of a sudden, and... bam! i never saw it coming. next were the results of my slack attitude, and i never saw it coming too. even with my raw score of 230, i couldn't even get into a school that was... what i thought as mediocre. it was frustrating. i really don't know what to do. the prelims are like, next week and here i am, studying only one subject that i hope for a pass in, and ignoring the rest. it's "inexpressible", so to speak. fluency and grasp of the language that i'm ranting in also helps, but here i am, with a C5-C6 standard English, and i expect myself to shout out my sorrows to everyone when i can't even pen/type it in words properly?
hais. maybe i should go back to studying my geog (YES, i'm studying geog, for that final effort to try to pass the damn subject), maybe i should go back to play, or maybe i should go back to stoning at my study table, which is a complete mess.
ergh.
i just don't want to screw the O's just like how i screwed my PSLE, many times over. it concerns my future, god dammit.
Shit.
never mind, i shall stop here.
~BenjaminTAN
