i'm a bastard. Really, i am.
and i get worse, much worse, when i'm not feeling well/that comfortable.
these 2 statements were derived from a reflection of today's afternoon, around three, if i had remembered correctly. when i actually wanted to blog in the afternoon.
it started with amanda. she was being stupid and didn't know what was the difference between 'before' and 'after'. she also mixes up numbers and randomly writes them, without even knowing what the numbers are. to think she's 5.
then comes my mother. she was testing amanda on numbers. it got so bad, amanda said that the number before 20 is 89. my mum scolded the shit out of her, and got so pissed she said 'go and die' and tore up some papers. amanda screamed and cried and screamed and cried.
oh, and i was here, before the comp, wanting to blog about today's exams. when the noise level got so unbearable i went downstairs and asked amanda to shut the hell up. she did, then my mum started on me.
then i asked her why did she even have to scold amanda in the first place. my mum got even more pissed and started scolding me.
i carried it to a whole new level, asking her 'why did she even have to make her cry so bad.' she scolded again, and asked me who i thought i was. i told her i was her brother, and wouldn't let anybody, not even her, get amanda in such a state.
raised voices ensued, and i ended up screaming at my mother, and when she asked me to stay out of her business, i just went up to the third floor and asked her to screw herself. altho i didn't know if she could hear it.
so up i went, closed all windows that my comp was opening, and then my mum came up. she continued her scolding, so i just switched off my computer and brushed past her, back into my room.
i replied smses, then my mum entered the room.
screw it, i thought, and stayed on my chair, one leg on the table, while she lectured me.
it was then when i realised it was a huge misunderstanding. to put it loosely, it was a damn big fuck-up(sorry for the bad language).
amanda was always like that. so my mum had to scold her. it was her sleeping time, so she would feel a bit grouchy and throw tantrums and stuff. and a whole lot of stupid things i don't bother remembering. it was seriously a huge screw-up on my part. when she left, i threw my watch, my wallet, and something i don't remember.
my mum asked me if i was still angry with her, in an apologetic tone. i asked her to leave me alone, because i wanted some time and space on my own. so she left the room.
i took off my specs, and facepalmed. i soon realised that my hands were wet. damn.
after sending another message, i let loose those tears.
i felt so goddamn bad. i wanted to apologise, but my mum had already left the house to handle some things at our old house in tampines.
shit.
that was one of the worst cases you've seen on my other side. so the conflict with the stupid ms chen and homework was damn trivial. female egos. or should i put it more specifically, young women egos. stupid bitch. 'wen jern and chin kiat! sit back down!' wow. i felt sorry for thsoe around her. must have caught the concentrated bitchy aura.
the papers so far were all good. the ones i really have no confidence in are the chinese paper 2, ss, english(the whole damn thing), and maybe geog elect. i really hope i did well in that subject, i worked my ass off on rivers and coasts for a whole week.
goodbye then.
don't forget this post. i'm a real bastard.
~BenajminTAN
