damn. couldn't go to grandmother's house today.
car got sent for servicing.
so it was me, jie and daniel who stayed at home for that boring afternoon.
ergh. even messaging didn't save me from dying out of frustration and boredom.
i tried playing the piano, tried watching tv, using the comp, playing Halo 3, playing hp games, watched my brother maple, but i guess nothing beats hanging out with your extended family and having a really nice and good chat. it's only been a week, but i miss the other 3 guys. haiz. not mentioning the other 11 girl-cousins. i don't even know how old Lena-jie is. wow.
well, it was a boring afternoon.
to put it simply, it was a boring week. i want normal school lessons, not normal school exams. i'm crumpling under the fact that the big one's only a month away. and the pressure to get a score that matches jie, if not better. i lost to her once, and i'm not going to lose to her again, dammit. but even as i type this, i feel more and more sceptic about beating her. sure, my maths and science my be good, but my english sucks to the core, and so does my humanities. i have to say i screwed the Social Studies exam. i dunno how the hell i could possibly memorise 4 topics in one month, unless i start now. but i can't, because i didn't even buy the sec 4 textbook.
Responsibility, benjamin. it's the one thing that can bring a person down. it's also a thing, a value that differentiates a person from another. with it, one can do anything without any fear that the consequences are going to be screwed-up. but without it, one has the fear that grips him till the time he chooses to take up that responsibility.
for me, i never knew how to do anything. Not without pushing the responsibility to others.
you know what?
screw it.
i'm going to try to find it right NOW.
for now, ciao!
~BenjaminTAN
